one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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