best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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