dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
