She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
