The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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