Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
