If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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