so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I did not marry a roomba.
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