We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
