this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
