his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
