his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
