All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
