i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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