Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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