East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the condom got lost in my hair
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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