sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
