i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize