some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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