Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
