i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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