You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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