I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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