Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
