I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
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He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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