Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
