I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
