Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So many bounce houses so little time
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
