I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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