Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
