It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
