I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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