he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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