You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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