Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
