last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
