i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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