could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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