Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's always time for handjobs
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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