i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
