i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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