dude i'm inner monologue high
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize