I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize