You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
