and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize