when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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