aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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