id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize