I can tuck mytits in my pants
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
