She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
