was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
