This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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