names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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