you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Btw I puked in your glovebox
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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