I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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